Our plans for the year 2042

So since our wings are proverbially clipped, here's to dreaming. Hopefully by some stroke of luck we'll be retired in 2042.

Here's our list as it stands:

Live in Manhattan proper, preferably a brownstone in Greenwich Village, for 3 months and immerse ourselves in the culture.

John wants to volunteer at Old Sturbridge Village for 2 months. I will find a hobby of somesort, maybe I'll work in the Village Store, it's got AC and you can wear civilian clothing. HA!

Travel to Europe: Italy, France, Switzerland, England, Germany being the top stops. Hey, we've got the time, and we're dreaming so keep your doubtful thoughts to yourself.

Rent a house, for the whole summer, on either Cape Cod or Drakes Island, ME and have our kids and grandkids come and go as their schedules allow.

Sleep in on a random Tuesday. Read a book all day long only stopping to share a really good lunch and/or take a nap.

Make sun tea and crochet blankets for the next generation (um, I think I am already old).

Out of the blue

We were standing in the hallway, the kids were scrambling around getting ready for their bath when he looked at me and said, "It's just so weird. My dad was here one day and now he's gone. Just like that. Isn't it so weird? He was part of my life, and now he's just not. He gave me this t-shirt, I remember being in his office when he gave it to me 10 years ago. And now..."

I know this ache. I hate it.

Off the charts for cuteness

Ellie's recent ramblings:

She points to her chest and yells E. Me. E.

She says: "oakhay oakhay oakhay" with her head nodding and bobbing (aka: okay, okay, okay)

She SCREAMS "prize" (aka: Surprise) when we enter a room or walk in the door

She carries her blankie every.where. and refers to it as her "B"

She says "mommy mom mommy" in the most innocently sweet little girl way. It breaks my heart every time she says it.

She has reached the "I do" stage. She tries to hoist herself up into her car seat, gets herself in and out of the tub and climbs up into her highchair. We have so far avoided any major spills and falls.

She is stubborn, I see me in her and she is all mine. Forever.


And then there's this:
Luke in the car after I picked him up from the sitter:
"I made Gregory grumpy this morning."

"Oh why, what happened?"

"I just did Mawm. 'Cause I missed my family."

Daydream Believer

I am unsure if it's because our life has become repetitive and consistent and safe or if it's the reality that we can't just pack our bags and run to wherever we feel we need to be. I at once feel elated with this life and think it cannot possibly get any better and simultaneously feel suffocated. My wings are clipped. Our bags are unpacked. We are settled. We watch old Seinfeld reruns on our non-cable tv at 10:15. Every. Night. I am not complaining, I love that time. It is so innocent and light. We laugh. We snuggle. We laugh more. We need less. And yet I daydream and I wonder as I wish on our next adventure.

John 2.0

I was perched in a squatting position playing trains with Luke before bed. His eyes widened with a huge expression as he pointed to the floor beneath me. "Mom, spider in our house! Dit's right dere, unda you!"

I looked with my head practically beneath my legs and saw just the wood floor. "Did the spider run Luke? I don't see it."

"Yeah Mawm, baby spider. It is a baby because it is."

"Oh, okay buddy," I nodded.

Then his eyes twinkled as he hit me with this: "Nawh Mawm, I just actor. Dere no spider here Mawm. HAHAHAHAHA. I joke."

He might look exactly like me, but clearly he's proudly sporting his father's genes.

Bobbys and Back Packs

The exterior of our house is being painted. New stairs have been built off of the back porch and the front porch has been rebuilt. New doors are coming in the next week or so and then we start working on the bathroom with the kitchen to follow. It's exciting and stressful.

Luke starts pre-school in two weeks. I am as much excited for him as I am in denial that this time is going faster than I ever anticipated. The days seemed so long, the time ahead of us seemed so far in the distance and now we have a house full of back packs and glue sticks, giant crayons and lunch bags. His latest thing is to say, "Mom, I need to talk to you about...." some days it's apple trees, other days it's UFOs.

Ellie has not had a morning or nighttime bottle the last two days/nights. This is huge. Please do no judge and mock that my almost 2 year old is still taking a bottle before bed. She has no attachment to anything other than that and her "blankie b". A house free of bottles is actually really freeing. It's a huge milestone and one that now has created an intense need for her "blankie b". This morning we woke to screams of "DAH-Y (daddy) I need bobby (her bottle)!! Need BOBBY DAH-Y!!" Oy. It was intense but she fared pretty well when we handed her a regular ole sippy cup of milk. I prompted us to rid her of her bottle addiction as she is potty-training herself. She tells us she has to go peepee, pulls her diaper away from her body and dances in front of her potty as we undress her and then wiggles her bottom so happily onto her little seat. I figure if she's ready for the potty then she should be off the bottle.

One door opens and another closes as the chapters of our life unfold before us.

The Salad Spinner

Luke: Mom, we don't eat grass or leaves.

Me: That's right, we don't.

Luke: Animals do eat grass and leaves.

Me: Right, and we eat vegetables and fruit. What kind of vegetables do you like to eat?

Luke: Umm salad.

Me: I love salad too. Do you want me to make you a salad tonight for dinner?

Luke: Yeah Mommy I like salad.

Me: Okay, with lettuce and what else would you like?

Luke: Umm egg salad.