March Un-Madness Musings

Call it spring fever or maybe it's just the feeling of finally being back on our feet after the whirlwind of 2 of under 2, but we think we've found our footing after all this time. Ellie sleeps through the night, no one has thrown up in weeks (knocking on wood right now), the ear infections while still on the surface are fading into the distance (again with the knocking on the wood), and things at home and work feel as if everything is right with the world.

Our basement is in a better organized state with a distinct kid-area set up so that they can play while we work out, the car is finally back in the garage after months of it being a catch-all for old and broken appliances, three different strollers and the multiple pile-up of empty diaper boxes. Life feels organized and just as it should be.

The best part is that when we say "I love you" to Luke his response is :"I wuv you too mawm" and sometimes even: "I wuv you too much mawm." And sweet Ellie is full of kisses and laughs as she strolls about the house with her baby.

We are lucky, blessed and realize that even though this past year has been hard, we will only ever remember all the wonderful moments. John rocked Ellie to sleep Friday night (this is almost always my "job") and I think she should know that as he rocked and kissed her forehead he looked at me, choked up and said, "this has been so hard, but in 20 years we'll want nothing more than to have this time back. We're going to miss this so much."

Everyone from veteran parents to those without kids keep telling me that it's going to get easier. Although the parents usually kind of laugh and say it gets easier in some ways but the problems get bigger. So as the tedious/maddening work lessens and the problems grow, we're ready to face this next stage of parenthood and married life.

I think it's perfectly fitting that spring is on the horizon just as we're welcoming a renewal of spirit and life in our home.

Never Gonna Be Alone

So I am not a Nickelback fan, their music is just not really my thing, but they have a song that if it weren't for the video I wouldn't even give it a second glance. We recently gave up cable because we just weren't watching television all that much and Luke has been getting DVDs from the library and watching them more than anything. However, a few weeks ago before we cancelled the luxury of HGTV and Comedy Central there were mornings where John would turn the channel to MTV or VH1 to get me out of bed. Normally it was some annoying rap or rock song that had my ears bleeding as I straggled about, not ready to face the immediate needs of everyone else. This certain morning though his little trick had us both just laying there, curious to find out who the man was in the video and by the end we were both in tears.

Tears for each other. Tears for the hope that Luke and Ellie never feel the loss that we feel. Tears for what would have been.

I want the two of us to be the ones standing behind our children for every milestone for at least the next 50 years. Please God make that happen.