Friday, April 20, 2012
Have you ever gone down a road and through a tunnel unsure of where you would end up? I've been going down some roads lately that have led me right back to where I started which has left me feeling confused and wondering if where I am is where I am supposed to be. The journey while exciting, full of anticipation and a bit of remorse has sent me on a virtual rollercoaster. Finding myself back at the start with a new perspective has been as exhausting as it as refreshing. Maybe I am right where I am supposed to be? I've lost some things along the way, and have gained new thoughts in the process. Reinvention. Renewal. It's like this post that hit me like a ton of bricks.
It is time to rebuild. I will no longer live in misery for fear of change.
The picture here is merely just a precious, early morning moment with my girl.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
My mom and I took Ellie to see the Disney Princesses last week with my good friend M, her two girls and her mom. All of the girls were in awe, blankly staring at the glittery stage. Most of the audience was clad in princess costumes and tiaras, Ellie being one of them. She was practically dripping in pink and enjoyed every minute of it until the excitement was so much that she almost fell asleep on the shoulder of her grandmother. As the show ended, grandma woke her up with a free-for-all at the souvenir table, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes Ellie spotted a white horse she needed to have. I'm pretty sure she thought she had dreamed the entire affair as she happily rode home with the horse held tightly in both hands. Grandmas certainly make dreams come true and Ellie knows it first hand.
Heard about 50 times all while holding her or sitting next to her or laying in bed with her: "Mama I need you."
I did dishes with her attached to my leg as she cried. I went to the basement to do laundry and heard the screams from upstairs, "Mommmmmmy I neeeeeed you. Where you are?"
Talking to the neighbors, she comes running to me...crying, "I need you mama."
Luke to John after hours upon hours of building Legos together: "DAAAAAAD can you help me? Dad I need you. Dad can you help me? DAAAADDDDDDD! Can you help me?"
This weekend was an open door policy, no privacy, no quiet until bedtime, and when it was quiet I felt my ears ringing and thought for sure I heard crying.
Trying as it may be, these are the days we will look back on with warm hearts. Luke gave me a hug and said, "I'll never let you go mama."
Ellie clearly is under the weather, fighting a virus and the only cure is a rotation of Tylenol, Ibuprophen, apple juice and me.