Jack Stevens

Six years ago today we lost my father-in-law to esophageal cancer. He died on his daughter Kim's second wedding anniversary, almost a month before our wedding and a week before Father's Day. My brother took John out for a drink the night of his death, a rite of passage as a new member of the club if you will.

Jack Stevens was a dapper man, a pillar of Saratoga Springs, a legend. He played a bartender in the movie, My Old Man, which was set in Saratoga Springs in 1979. For seven years his father, "Big Lew", was in long-term care and Jack visited him every day. Every day. According to John, when they went on vacation he would hire a friend to bring him the paper and talk with him for no less than 30 minutes. That is loyalty and compassion. I only knew him for two short years and after my father died I was comforted in knowing that I was about to have a father-in-law to guide us through big decisions and hold our newborn babies.

We shared stories on Facebook tonight and this is what has ensued:

Hannah Stevens Christopher ‎:) Let's share nice/funny memories of Dad. I'll start. I went "the lake way" home tonight (6/12/11) in memory of him. He would always suggest this way and say it was the best, most direct route. He would even remind us which roads to take!!! That part used to crack me up. Like I didn't know the way home:)

Jane Oh Hannah, thanks for sharing that--means so much!

Amy I remember him sitting in the old kitchen at the table and as John and I were leaving I rubbed his bald head! We both were kind of surprised, I don't know what prompted me to do that but I was sooo embarrassed, he just awkwardly smiled at me. Ha!!!

Hannah I loved that old kitchen. Remember his pile of papers used to be so neat and organized?

Hannah I hope John has a nice/funny memory to share.

John I loved his stories. His friends stopped into the Colonial Tavern to have a beer while dad hid in the car. The friends talked to Grandma Blanch and told her that Jack was up at school studying and it was too bad that he couldn't come on the trip to Indiana to to see his school in the basketball finals.

Hannah Hahaha! I never heard that one!!!!! I believe it though;)

John He also had his friends answer the pay phone in his hall way to say, "Jack's in the library studying Mrs Stevens." When he really was on the trip to Indiana.

John I always like his Polo Grounds story with Leo Quinn. Dad was like 11 or 12 and fell asleep during a NY Giants (baseball) game. Dad loved baseball. Leo not so much, but dad fell asleep and missed a game-winning home run. He also always bragged about riding the subway from Rockaway Beach to the Polo Grounds at such a young age. They stayed with Leo's aunt.

Hannah Never heard those either. You really need to think of more and share away:) I always liked the Race Track stories from the summers he worked there.

John How about working at the Gaslight? He said wives would call looking for their husbands and they would ask dad to lie for them. He never would. He would hand them the phone and make them deal with their situation.

John How about driving by the West Side Field. He always said the same thing, "That's where I struck out 16 Greenwich Witches. I really had my curve ball going that day." Then I would ask him, "Did you ever get any hits dad?" And he would s...ay, " I had a double my first game of the season that hit the back fence on one hop, but I only had a few singles the whole rest of the season." He was only slightly disappointed by his hitting but was always really proud of his pitching!!

He would have loved the string of grandchildren that have come along and they would have loved him. RIP Jack, you are missed.

The Power of "Do"

Growing up my father had lots of nicknames for us. Tom was Boop. When he was little my dad would bounce him on his knee and say "Boop boop dee do" and Boop just stuck, even when he was 30. There was also the classic "Son". My mom was hardly ever referred to as Mary Ann, she was always "Mare". Somehow I inherited the motherload of names, ACE was the most common. One Christmas, I was about nine years old, he bought me (Amy Elizabeth Center) a monogrammed sweater. With the big C in the middle it looked like my sweater said ACE. And so it began... "Acey-cakes", and "Ace is the place" were his two favorites. Followed by Baby-Cakes, Scooch, Schoochy-doo, Miss, and Missy, all very endearing. My brother still calls me Miss and my mom has her own version, Amykins.

Then John enters. He is just John. No familial nicknames, not much in the way of silliness during his childhood. In an odd way and unbeknownst to him, there are times when I think he is channelling my father. He borderline bores us (my mom and I) with historical facts about every town in the tri-county region as we drive through them, so much like my dad. When this happens my mom and I roll our eyes at each other and smile a smile that says, "they would have loved each other!" We used to make fun of my dad and say he was a bastion of (useless) knowledge. They would so get along, most likely trying to out-bore, ahem, I mean out-do the other with their knowledge of useless facts.

John has once again channelled my dad. Luke is rarely referred to as Luke. He is L-Train (a football player reference), Mr. L, Bubby, Bubby Brewster (another football reference I think), and Bubbs Bubberton. Then there are all the "Dos". Mr. Do, Bumble-Do, Bubby-Do, Bubbs-Do, Luke-Do, and the classic "Do". Let's not forgot who we have become. I am Mama-Do, John calls himself Dada-Do and my mom is Grandma-Do. We are the family of "Dos". We go to Sleepy-Do, wear Diaper-Dos, take Tubby-Dos, and drink Baba-Dos.

Am I stretching things here, looking too hard for a connection that maybe isn't there? Well you see my dad was a Command Master Chief in the Seabees, a division of the Navy. Seabees or CB for Construction Battalion, are the ones who rebuild after war, or go to underdeveloped countries to build roads, bridges, put in plumbing or electrical services. Their motto is "Seabees Can Do". They have "Can Do" spirit. They "Do".

You tell me? Is this just coincidental? Regardless it warms my heart and yet again I am so blessed-do

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seabees