Monday, February 4, 2013

Don't hesitate

I've been absent once again. It's getting old, I know. I have Christmas pictures to post and a day of sledding with friends to document. I also have a new job and we kind of have a new life all around. Things are good. It's not that they were bad before but the thing I realized was that once I put myself in the picture a little more, the picture became clear. I'm home with the kids more, I am more of a mom and a wife, and I still get to be a designer. I get to dress up and go to a corner window office three days a week, on a college campus, and then work from home the other days, in leggings and comfy oversized shirts. I have clients of my own, which due to some good connections and a healthy past, just kind of happened. I guess I should give myself credit for putting some good karma out into the world and having it come back to me. But to be honest it happened all rather quickly. For that I am grateful. And I am humbled beyond measure. 

I feel blessed and lucky and whole. I can forgive the wrong that was done, the things that people may have thought or assumed. That is theirs to figure out which has taken me some time to realize. 

I'll be home for those school vacations, I was home for the stomach bug and an ear infection with no worries about what I should be doing or if I was doing enough. I am home when their days are done, and I will be there in a lawn chair at little league practice come spring. It's weird how you have this little dream that you think is just a dream and then poof there you are smack dab living in it. Did I pay my dues and I am now reaping my reward? 

Whatever it is, it is good and I fear jinxing anything so with that I will bid you adieu. Dream big, let go of fear and forgive whatever was in the past that is holding you back. Life is too short for anything less. 

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